Remnant's Romances
by SdaTheArtist
Summary: Love lingers in the air on a very special day as everyone in Remnant gets that "special" someone...
**_Nevermore x Deathstalker: Rank 10_**

 **April 1st – Dawn**

The Deathstalker that fought Team JNPR was sprawled on a cracked ground at the bottom of the gorge at the Emerald Forest's abandoned temple. It roared in sympathy for the fallen Nevermore that fought Team RWBY, who laid next to it without a head.

 _ **Pavel Igorevich Morozov x Velvet Scarlatina: Rank 10**_

 **April 1st – Morning**

Pavel cooly approached Velvet with a big grin on his face, holding a bottle of shroom vodka and some condoms. "Hey Velvet, my little rabbit! You wanna… come over to my place, man?"

"Sorry Pavel," Velvet shook her head. "I don't drink."

Pavel threw down his bottle and condoms to Velvet's surprise. "Fucking hell dude, I got friendzoned!"

 _ **Weiss Schnee x Artyom Svetlanich Zaytsev: Rank 10**_

 **April 1 – Noon**

Weiss entered Artyom's room wearing nothing but skimpy lingerie. She stood in front of Artyom, who lied on his bed reading, with extremely rosy cheeks.

"U-Um, Artyom…?" She reluctantly began sliding her hands all over her legs, arms, and stomach. "Y-You… _like_ what you _see_?" Weiss will never hear the end of it from her teammates if they see her like this.

Artyom put his book down and stared at Weiss. Then he smiled. "Of course, Weiss! I'm sure your boyfriend will love the sex appeal!"

Weiss threw up her hands in exasperation. "Dammit, I got friendzoned!"

 _ **Blake Belladonna x Yang Xiao Long: Rank 10**_

 **April 1 – Afternoon**

Blake found Yang sitting at a table in the Dining Hall and approached her, a bowl of tuna in her hands. "Hey Yang, why don't we-?"

"Sorry Blake," Yang shook her head as she stood up. Uhlman came over and leaned against her back, his arms crossed cooly. Yang repeated Uhlman's stance. "I can't violate the Bro Code."

Uhlman stuck a hand out. "You said it, man!"

Yang slapped it.

Blake meowed in disappointment. Darn, she got friendzoned...

But then Uhlman stared at Blake's tuna-bowl. "Hey, are you gonna finish that Blake?"

"... _Yes_."

 _ **Roman Torchwick x Ruby Rose: Rank 10**_

 **April 1 – Dusk**

At the city, Roman strode towards Ruby with his hands in pockets, cracking a wolfish grin. "Hey there, Red. Wanna go out to town together? I promise it's going to be…" He nodded his hat. "The _time_ of your _life_."

But Ruby gasped, her eyes filled with shock. "I-I'm a _minor_!"

"Damn Red," Roman shot a surprised stare as his cigar fell from his lips. "You're good…"

 _ **Glynda Goodwitch x Khan Aitmatov: Rank 10**_

 **April 1 – Evening**

Glynda found Khan staring into the sunset at Beacon's airship pads and approached from behind, holding a bouquet of lilies. "K-Khan? Um, I-I… I…"

"...I'll give it some thought, Glynda."

 _ **Jaune Arc x Pyrrha Nikos: Rank 10**_

 **April 1 – Late Night**

Jaune approached Pyrrha as he held a bouquet of roses and condoms. "Hey, err… Pyrrha? Y-You wanna go to… u-um… m-my place f-for the night?"

Pyrrha shook her head. "Sorry Jaune, there can be only one man for me."

"A-And who's that?" Jaune swallowed his disappointment.

Then he found himself picked up and thrown down _hard_ on the ground. Cracks exploded around the impact area. Jaune saw a hunkier version of himself wearing sunglasses and a cap picking up his roses and condoms. Hunkier Jaune wrapped his arm around Pyrrha's neck.

Hunkier Jaune glared at Real Jaune. " _That man's name is_ Jaaaaaaune Ceeena!"

 _ **Makoto Yuuki x SEES: Rank 10**_

 **April 1 – Dark Hour**

Makoto and SEES traversed the empty streets of Vale as-

"Hey Makoto?" Junpei stared at Makoto. "I think we're in the wrong place…"

Makoto glanced around. "This isn't Iwatodai."

"Of course it isn't, you guys!" Yukari sighed in exasperation. "We're in the wrong game and show!"

Everyone at SEES stopped walking and had one thought: Oh shit.

 _ **Nora Valkyrie x Pancake: Rank 10**_

 **April 1 – Midnight**

Nora ate her pancake while hiding under her sheets. "Slurp!"

 _ **Lie Ren x Himself: Rank 10**_

 **April 1 – Late Midnight**

Ren glanced around his team's empty room, making sure everyone's asleep, then he leaned down underneath his bed and pulled out an X-rated magazine of sexy Faunus girls for, err, _research_.

He kept a box of tissues next to his bed, for, err, _safety protocols_ when he, um, begins _experimenting_. Yeah, that's it!

 _ **Melnik "Miller" Nikolayevich Rozanov x Winter Schnee: Rank 10**_

 **April 1 – Even Later Midnight**

Miller sat down next to Winter at the bar and ordered shroom vodka for both of them. "So, Winter Schnee, was it? I think we're going to have a great partnership together…"

"Sorry, Miller." Winter shook her head. "I don't date _old men_ with _daughter issues_."

Miller gasped as everyone laughed at him, especially Uhlman. "Shut up, Uhlman!"

"You need some ice for that burn, Colonel?!" Uhlman barely brought up a glass of ice-cold vodka with ice cubes as his arm shook. "Oh, that was beautiful!"

 _ **Qrow Branwen x Cinder Falls: Rank 10**_

 **April 1 – Is This Still Midnight?**

Qrow sat next to Cinder at the bar as he ordered brandy for himself and her. "So, I heard you're quite the _fire_ , Ms. Falls."

"Oh please," Cinder rolled her eyes. "Call me back when you're a responsible parent."

Qrow frowned as he drank his brandy. "Damn, she's _spicy_ …"

 _ **Emerald Sustrai x Mercury Black: Rank 10**_

 **April 1 – Okay, This Is Violating Time Conventions, Y'Know**

When Cinder passed by a closet in the hallway of the aircraft hangar, she heard grunting and moaning. She returned and put an ear to the door, a sadistic smile tugging her lips. "Huh, and I thought you two don't want me to imagine you two procreating."

"We're not _procreating_! W-We're trying to get out of these stupid cuffs!"

"Sure you are. Call me back when Emerald's pregnant with your child, Mercury."

" _Cinder_!"

 _ **Ozpin x All Da Hoes!: Rank 10**_

 **April 1 – Who's Controlling The Time Here?!**

Ozpin wrapped his arms around Glynda and Emerald's necks, the females of Remnant and METRO crowding around his office, as he grinned at Jaune. "A job well-done, Jaunez. For your valiant efforts in the… _protection_ of Vale, I shall reward you Pyrrha Nikos!"

Pyrrha, in a maid outfit, sat on Jaunez's lap with a seductive smile. She was surprisingly soft and fluffy.

Then Ozpin stood up from his seat. "Now then ladies, let us have a night of _fun_ together!"

But they all shook their heads. "Sorry, we prefer to remain friends."

Ozpin flipped his desk. "Goddammit, I got friendzoned!"

 _ **Ozpin x All Da… Bros?: Rank 10**_

 **April 1 – Hello, Is Phoenix Wright Available?**

Ozpin wrapped his arms around Miller and James's necks, the males of Remnant and METRO crowding around his office, as he grinned at Ruby. "A job well-done, Rubyz. For your _valienter_ efforts in the… _protection_ of Vale, I shall reward you Artyom Zaytsev and Pavel Morozov!"

Artyom and Pavel, in butler outfits, sat on Rubyz's with seductive smiles. They were surprisingly strong and hard.

Then Ozpin stood up from his seat. "Now then gentlemen, let us have a night of _fun_ together!"

All the males cheered. "Yeah!"

Ozpin growled in disappointment as he and the males played Halo 4 together. Then Qrow 360noscoped him from across the map, and Ozpin threw his controller down in fury. "Goddammit, I got friendzoned again and you're hacking Qrow!"

Qrow laughed. "That's because I got _swag_ and you _don't_!"

Ozpin screamed. He flipped his desk.

 _ **Bourbon x All Dem Bitches!: Rank 10**_

 **April 1 – So Much Later Midnight That The Old Narrator Got Tired Of Questioning, And 4A Rooster Teeth Games Had To Hire A New One**

Bourbon sat on a throne as all of the females of Remnant, METRO, Iwatodai, and Inaba adored him. Grinning, he glanced at the jealous gazes of the males of Remnant, METRO, Iwatodai, and Inaba. Especially Artyom, Makoto, Yu, and Ozpin.

"Well, well, well," he put sunglasses on as he lit a cigarette. "Uncle Bourbon's got all da _swag_ and _bitches_."

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **April Fools everyone, ;).**

 **Have a wonderful day!**

 **-Sda209.**


End file.
